Occasionally you may have to deal with this behavior - it is not that unusual in small children, but they need to learn the rules.  For safety reasons, you must be in control.  Here are some tips:

• Firmly tell the child you do not allow hitting.
• You may need to have the child take a break (1 minute per year of age up to 5 minutes) and then start over.
• If the child hits you more than once, be sure to tell the parent.  Then ask the parent to tell you what they do when this happens.
• Do NOT hit the child!
• Do NOT use any form of physical punishment!

Temper tantrums are usually caused by the child's inability to handle frustration, anger, or fear.

To prevent temper tantrums:

• Childproof the area as much as possible, which helps you from saying "No" frequently.
• Allow the child to make limited choices, such as which story to read.
• Use distractions.
• Praise good behavior.

During a temper tantrum:

• Don't argue with the child.
• If the child is on the ground kicking, move things out of the way so the child will not be harmed and to protect things which could break.
• Stay within sight of the child.
• Stay calm.

After the temper tantrum:

• Quietly comfort or hold the child.
• Distract the child with game or play.

All kids try to be the favorite over their brothers or sisters.  They try with babysitters, parents, grandparents, and teachers.  Sometimes just getting the most attention seems like a good idea.  Sometimes getting any attention, including negative attention, satisfies the child.   

1. Make it clear you don't have favorites.
2. Give both children time when they get special attention.
3. Alternate special times - 15 minutes may be the limit for younger children.
4. If at all possible, include the oldest child in activities that must be done for younger children.
5. Praise all good behavior.

Usually a child who threatens to "tell on" you when you are babysitting is just testing you and has no intention of carrying out the threat. The situation is similar to a child saying, "You're not my mother, and I don't have to mind you." But, of course, the child does have to mind you because you are the official parent substitute and it is your responsibility to carry out the family rules. You should:

1.  Remind the child firmly, but kindly, that you are carrying out the family rules. You have no authority to change the rules.

2.  Remind the child of fun things that you did during the evening and reinforce that you enjoy babysitting for him.

3.  Do not argue about whether or not you are mean. You can't win an argument with a tired, unreasonable child. You know if you are being fair.

4.  If the child is truly upset, you should mention the incident to the parent.  You could explain what happened and ask the parent for advice about how to handle the child if it happens again.

Even though you don't want to have a young child call you a "mean babysitter", you must follow the family rules. Each time you allow a child to stretch the rules, you set yourself up for a repeat performance at the next babysitting job.

Remember that having the parent go over the rules in front of the child before the parent leaves makes your job a lot easier. If you remain firm, you may be surprised how easy it becomes to enforce the rules and still be the child's favorite babysitter!

Your best bet for keeping a child out of trouble is keeping the child entertained, especially children who are active. The age of the child is important to think about when you are choosing entertainment activities. You also need to think about the child's activity level. Some children are very active and have very short attention spans. Those children can be lots of fun. When you are babysitting with an active child or a child who is young, especially around the age of 2, you need to be prepared. You need lots of energy. You also need lots of ideas about activities the child enjoys.  Ask the parent before she leaves for not just one idea, but a list of ideas. You might want to make sure these babysitting jobs are short.

This is a problem behavior parents AND babysitters deal with.  If you are going to be successful at taking charge, you need to have a take-charge attitude! 

Follow these 6 suggestions to get the child's attention:

1. Remind the child you are following the parent's rules at the parent's request.
2. Accept that you can't be the "nice guy" all the time.
3. Believe the child wants to please you and wants to do as you ask.
4. Use the way you look and talk to make it clear you are serious:
   • Stand up where the child can see you.
   • Look in the child's eyes.
   • Use the child's name - first and last.
   • Speak firmly using simple directions.
   • Don't laugh, smile, or make a joke.
5. If the child does not do what you ask:
   • Keeping your arms at your side, move one step closer to the child.
   • Repeat your request using exactly the same words including the child's name.
6. If the child obeys, thank the child, say you are pleased, and return to your usual fun self.

At some ages, crying when the employer leaves is more the rule than the exception. You can expect tears when the parent walks out the door for children who are older than 9 months and younger than 4 years. Infants younger than 9 months don't usually cry because they don't really understand they are being left by their special "someone." Children older than 4 years don't usually cry because they have already been through many good-byes and know their parent will return. 

Your best bet with the usual tears is to reassure the child the parent will return. Distract the child with a toy or blanket, be patient, and DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Sometimes coming early helps so that you are less of an unknown but not always. Most parents will give you tips about distractions that work or how long to expect the tears. The child who will be especially difficult is the one who is still crying after 4 years and is overly attached to the parent because of some health or emotional problems in the child or family. Babysitting with the child who has special difficulty with separation may be a job that you don't want to tackle. You can choose to babysit for that child again if the situation changes.