What to do when toddlers erupt

By: Ellen Miller

Advice may help parents through toddler years

• Communicate a parenting presence.
       "Some parents sound like they're asking or begging their child to do something, rather than setting clear directions and limits," says Dr. Patricia Keener, clinical professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School. 
       She suggests speaking firmly but not threateningly, telling the child to look you in the eye when you talk.  "You simply have to give them clear signals that this is what I want from you.  Children want to please the people they love."
• Offer real choices.
       One way to redirect a child's behavior is to give him a choice between two acceptable things, says Keener, who provides this example:  "Would you like to brush your teeth before or after I read you a story?"
• Remember that this, too, shall pass.
       "Taking care of toddlers is physically wearing," says Keener.  "It's important to have supports during this time and to be aware that the child is doing what is natural.  you will get through it."

Excerpt from The Indianapolis Star article Taming hot tots on March 25, 2002