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Q
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What should I
do if the child keeps getting into everything?
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A
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Your best bet for
keeping a child out of trouble is keeping the child entertained,
especially children who are active. The age of the child is
important to think about when you are choosing the entertainment
activities. You also need to think about the child's activity
level. Some children are very active and have very short
attention spans. Those children can be lots of fun. When
you are babysitting with an active child or a child who is young,
especially around the age of two, you need to be prepared. You
need lots of energy. You also need lots of ideas about
activities the child enjoys. Ask the parents before they leave
for not just one idea, but a list of ideas. You might want to
make sure these jobs are short.
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Q
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What
should I do if the children I'm babysitting for are not listening?
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A
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The
most common questions that sitters ask deal with controlling
behavior. If you are having trouble, you are not alone.
Not only do sitters experience control problems but parents do as
well. If you are going to be successful at taking charge, you
need to have a take-charge attitude. By following the eight
suggestions below, you can get any child's attention.
Remind the child you are following the parent's rules at the
parent's request.
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Accept the fact
that you can't be the "nice guy" all the time.
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Believe that the
child wants to please you and wants to do as you ask.
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Use the way you
look and talk to make it clear that you are serious:
stand up; standing where the child can see you
look in the child's eyes
use the child's name - first and last
speak firmly using simple directions
don't laugh, smile, or make a joke.
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If
the child does not do what you ask:
keeping your arms at your sides, move one step closer to the child
repeat your request using exactly the same words and including the child's name.
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If the
child obeys, thank the child, say you are pleased, and return to your
usual fun self.
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If the child does not obey you at your second request, then warn the
child what will happen if he or she doesn't mind you
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If the child
fails to obey you, then you need to follow through with what you said
would happen. Remember, never use physical punishment.
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Q
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I
often babysit two boys, ages 4 and 2. They're very fun-loving,
active and messy. They make huge messes with their toys.
But when the fun's done, they refuse to pick up the mess. I try
to make it fun by playing games and races, but they just want to play
and their mother or I pick up the mess. What should I do?
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A
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Making
a mess is part of normal healthy play. Playing is one important
way children learn. Here are a few facts and tips that may help
you.
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Children
gradually become more able to take responsibility for cleaning up
after themselves. The 2-year-old is not yet able to do this
and will need lots of assistance from you. (You will be
doing most of the picking up, and he will not be able to help
much.) The 4-year-old may be able to respond to your
suggested games and races. However, even the 4-year-old will
need you to help him decide what to pick up next, where it goes,
etc.
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Be
sure to set ground rules when you start playing. Remind the
children that the toys will need to be cleaned up when the fun is
over.
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If
you wait to start cleaning up until they're done playing, they may
have gotten out so many toys that they feel overwhelmed by the
size of the clean-up job. You could insist that when the
activity is finished, they clean up before starting the next
activity.
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Always
praise children for their help - whatever amount they are able to
do on their own or with your assistance. You may want to
offer a special treat as well as verbal praise to encourage their
help. Telling the parents about the children's help at the
end of the sitting job may give the parents a chance to reinforce
this behavior as well.
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Remember
it is the sitter's responsibility to leave the house as it was
found. So if there are still toys out after the children go
to bed, you should clean up before the parents get home.
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Q
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I babysit
for three children who act like complete angels when their parents are
around but just the opposite the second the parents go out of the
door. How do I tell the parents about how their children really act?
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A
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Talking to parents
about their children's
behavior is always a challenge. It helps to keep in mind that since
parents are with their children most of the time, they have a good idea
about how their children usually act. There are some children,
though, that will test the limits with a babysitter.
Even though it seems scary to talk to the parents
about how the children acted, it is always best to let them know.
Start by telling them that you need some help. Then tell exactly
what happened without adding your opinion. You might say,
"Susie and Johnny got into a fight and knocked over the lamp,"
rather that saying, "Susie was a problem. She got out of
control and hit Johnny. They knocked over a lamp while
fighting." Then go on to tell them how you handled the
situation.
After telling the parents what happened, ask them
how you should have handled the situation or how you should handle a
similar situation in the future. Some babysitters feel telling the
parents is like "tattling," and worry about whether the parents
and the children will still like them or want to hire them again.
Don't feel bad about reporting problem behavior to parents. Asking
for advice shows parents you are trying to be the best babysitter
possible.
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Q
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How should I handle
temper tantrums?
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A
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Temper tantrums are
usually caused by the child's inability to handle
frustration, anger, or fear. To prevent temper
tantrums, child-proof the area as much as possible (this
helps keep you from saying "No" frequently), allow
the child to make limited choices (such as which story to
read), use distraction and praise good behavior. During tantrums, don't argue with the
child. Ignore the child until the tantrum has
ended. If the child falls to the ground kicking,
move things out of the way so the child will not be
harmed and to protect things which could break.
When the tantrum ends, distract child with game or play.
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Q
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What do you do
if you cannot get the child you are babysitting
to go to sleep?
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A
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You should expect that
toddlers will cry at bedtime, especially if the
child cries when the parent first leaves.
Toddlers and young preschoolers cry at bedtime
because bedtime is a time of separation.
Frequently children cry at bedtime even when the
parent is home. Always ask the parents what to do
if the toddler or young preschooler cries. The
best advice is to follow the same routine the
parents use at bedtime. Remember to ask about the
bedtime routine and follow it to the letter.
After the toddler years
and early preschool years, refusing to cooperate
with bedtime is more of a problem behavior than
a problem with separation. Your approach to the
older child's refusal to cooperate with bedtime
should be similar to your approach to getting the
child to cooperate with any rule the child must
obey. Remember, parents want children to go to
bed on time. Children who stay up past their
usual bedtimes are cranky and difficult the next
day. You should always follow the rules of
bedtime. Once you allow a child to stay up past
bedtime, you can expect to fight a losing battle
at bedtime every time you babysit for that child.
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Safe Sitter® is a nonprofit, 501 (c)(3)
organization. Copyright © 2008 by Safe Sitter, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
This page was last updated
01/10/08
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